A Modern Day Good Samaritan by Ben Tousey
A Tea Bagger was on his way to a meeting one afternoon in
Arizona to support the new Papers Please law. On his wrist, underneath his
ironed white shirt, he sported a bracelet with the letters WWJD. As he walked,
he hummed Onward Christian Soldiers as he contemplated how unenlightened the
rest of the country was.
As he turned a corner he was accosted by street gang
(probably illegal immigrants). They beat him without mercy and then stole his
credit cards and all his cash. They left his NRA membership card. Then, as a
final insult they ripped his clothes off and left him for dead
While he lay there, a preacher, the founder of a
multi-million dollar television network, himself a Tea-Bagger, passed by and
saw the victim lying in a pool of his own blood. The preacher figured he was an
immigrant, so he quickly crossed to the other side of the street and hurried on
his way.
Shortly after him a priest walked by. He had just given his
best mass ever. The congregation was visibly stirred. He heard lots of
sniffling. Yes, his topic on brotherly love really got to them, and the updated
version of the Good Samaritan was his best telling ever.
As he passed by, lost in his own thoughts, he barely noticed
the beaten man until he tripped over him. The priest jumped back in shock and
was so upset that he crossed to the other side of the street, wondering what he
could do next Sunday that would top this Sunday’s service.
A few moments later, a gay, Liberal Democrat, who paid for
his sister’s abortion, was on his way to a Gay Pride planning event, listening
to Rachel Maddow on his iPod. His name was Bruce. Bruce saw the victim lying in
the street. He saw his NRA card, his WWJD bracelet, and some anti-gay pamphlets
strewn about.
Bruce could see that the victim’s wounds were severe, so he
pulled out his cell phone and dialed 9-1-1. When a dispatcher answered, Bruce
explained where he was, and that he had come across a man who had been severely
beaten, and that he needed an ambulance right away. The dispatcher agreed.
Bruce waited with the man. To occupy his time, he picked up
the NRA membership card and the pamphlets and put them in as neat of a pile as
he could.
Soon he heard the sirens approaching. Then the ambulance
pulled up in front of them and they immediately loaded the victim onto a
stretcher. Then they put an oxygen mask over his mouth cleaned up the blood and
tended to the wounds. Bruce told them everything he knew, which wasn’t very
much since he happened upon the victim.
Bruce agreed to ride along to the hospital.
The victim’s name was on his NRA card, so Bruce again pulled
out his cell phone, and called 4-1-1. He knew that the phone company was going
to soak him for this, but oh well, ‘it’s only money.’ After several phone
conversations with people who had the same last name but didn’t recognize the
victim, Bruce finally located the family. He told them which hospital they were
going to and that they would be there in minutes.
At the hospital Bruce met with the police who thanked him
for being a Good Samaritan. He blushed, gave the police his number in case they
needed him and then called a cab since he was now quite a distance out of his
way.
When the man’s family arrived, they were met by the doctor
who told them that their loved one was going to be okay. He had gotten there
just in time thanks to a Good Samaritan. The family cried, embraced each other,
and thanked God that he was so merciful to the righteous.
You might be suprised that I would use this example to talk
about the story of the Good Samaritan, but I have an important point to
make. The lesson from the story of the
Good Samaritan that Jesus wanted us to lean is that our neighbor is anyone of
any race, creed, sexuality, nationality, social background, religion, or sexual orientation. Anyone in need is our neighbor. We may not agree with a person's background,
beliefs, or political stands, but we must still be there to help anyone who
needs it. We are called to love our neighbors and our enemies.
