Commandments 5-10, the second
portion of the Law, deal with one’s relationships to others. All the
commandments include a negative except the fourth (the last in the first group)
and the fifth (the first in the second group). The fifth commandment enjoins
respect (honor) of parents. It implies obedience and submission to them.
The promise of longevity that accompanies the command (live long) refers
to duration as a nation in covenant relationship with God (in the land the Lord your God is giving you) rather
than a lengthened lifespan for each obedient individual. Cursing one’s parents,
tantamount to repudiating their authority, was a capital offense (Proverbs 20:20, If a man curses his father or mother, his lamp
will be snuffed out in pitch darkness.[2]).[3]
This is the first commandment
with a promise attached. To live in
peace for generations in the Promised Land, the Israelites would need to
respect authority and build strong families.
But what does it mean to “honor” parents? Partly, it means speaking well of them and
politely to them. It also means acting
in a way that shows them courtesy and respect (but not to obey them if this
means disobedience to God.) It means following their teaching and example of
putting God first. Parents have a
special place in God’s sight. Even those
who find it difficult to get along with their parents are still commanded to
honor them.
2.
Penalty: Exodus 21:15, 17, Anyone
who attacks his father or his
mother must be put to death.[4]
Anyone who curses his father or mother must be put to death.[5]
These verses concern crimes
against parents that required the death penalty: physical violence against
parents and verbal abuse of parents.
Because of the importance of the home its sanctity was guarded, parents
protected, and children controlled; disrespectfulness was to be dealt with in
the same way as murder.[6]
3. Eli’s Sons:
1 Samuel 2:12-18 & 22-25, Eli’s sons were wicked men; they had no
regard for the Lord. 13 Now it was the practice of the
priests with the people that whenever anyone offered a sacrifice and while the
meat was being boiled, the servant of the priest would come with a
three-pronged fork in his hand. 14
He would plunge it into the pan or kettle or caldron or pot, and the priest
would take for himself whatever the fork brought up. This is how they treated
all the Israelites who came to Shiloh. 15 But even before the fat was burned,
the servant of the priest would come and say to the man who was sacrificing, “Give
the priest some meat to roast; he won’t accept boiled meat from you, but only
raw.” 16 If the man said to him, “Let the fat be burned up
first, and then take whatever you want,” the servant would then answer, “No,
hand it over now; if you don’t, I’ll take it by force.” 17 This sin of the young men was very great in the Lord’s sight, for they were treating the Lord’s offering with contempt. [7] 22Now Eli, who was very old, heard about everything his
sons were doing to all Israel and how they slept with the women who served at
the entrance to the Tent of Meeting. 23 So he said to them, “Why do
you do such things? I hear from all the people about these wicked deeds of
yours. 24 No, my sons; it
is not a good report that I hear spreading among the Lord’s people. 25
If a man sins against another man, God
may mediate for him; but if a man sins against the Lord, who will intercede for him?” His sons, however, did
not listen to their father’s rebuke, for it was the Lord’s will to put them to death. [8]
The law stipulated that the
needs of all the Levites were to be met through the people’s tithes. Because Eli’s sons were priests, they were to
be taken care of this way. But Eli’s
sons took advantage of their position to satisfy their lust for power,
possessions, and control. Their contempt
and arrogance toward both people and worship undermined the integrity of the
whole priesthood.
Eli know that his sons were
evil, but he did little to correct or stop them, even when the integrity of God’s
sanctuary was threatened. As the high
priest, Eli should have responded by executing his sons.
This fork was a utensil used
in the Tabernacle for offering sacrifices.
Made of bronze, it usually had three prongs to hook the meat that was to
be offered on the alter. Eli’s sons used
the fork to take more from the pot than was due them.
They were taking parts of the
sacrifices before they were offered to God on the alter. They were also eating meat before the fat was
burned off. This was against God’s
laws. In effect, Eli’s sons were
treating God’s offering with contempt.
Offerings were given to show honor and respect to God while seeking
forgiveness for sins, but through their irreverence, Eli’s sons were actually
sinning while making the offerings. To
add to their sins, they were also sleeping with the women who served
there. Eli’s sons refused to obey God
and refused to honor their father.
4. The Lord Judges Eli’s Sons: 2 Samuel 2:30-34, Therefore the Lord, the God of Israel, declares: ‘I
promised that your house and your father’s house would minister before me
forever.’ But now the Lord declares:
‘Far be it from me! Those who honor me I will honor, but those who despise me
will be disdained. 31 The
time is coming when I will cut short your strength and the strength of your
father’s house, so that there will not be an old man in your family line 32 and you will see distress in my
dwelling. Although good will be done to Israel, in your family line there will
never be an old man. 33 Every
one of you that I do not cut off from my altar will be spared only to blind
your eyes with tears and to grieve your heart, and all your descendants will
die in the prime of life. 34 “‘And what happens to your two sons, Hophni and
Phinehas, will be a sign to you—they will both die on the same day. 35 I will raise up for myself a
faithful priest, who will do according to what is in my heart and mind. [9]
Eli’s sons knew better, but
they continued to disobey God deliberately by cheating, seducing, and robbing
the people. Therefore, God planned to
kill them. The fulfillment of this
prediction of Eli’s family line came to be during the reign of Solomon when her
removed Abiathar from his position, thus ending Eli’s line as priests. Because of Eli’s sons did not honor their
father they did not get the promise a long life in the promise land.
5. Parents and Children: Ephesians 6:1-3, Children, obey your parents
in the Lord, for this is right. 2
“Honor your father and mother”—which is the first commandment with a
promise— 3 “that it may go
well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth.” 4
Fathers, do not exasperate your
children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord. [10]
Children are to obey their parents. The phrase in
the Lord does not mean that children are to obey parents only if their
parents are believers. As Colossians 3:20
clearly denotes, a child’s obedience to his parents is pleasing in the Lord’s
sight. The reason for this is that it is right; it is a proper
course to follow in society. Paul then quoted the fifth commandment to support
the need for children to obey parents. The parenthetical clause states that
this is the first commandment with a promise. But this is actually the
second command with a promise (Ex. 20:6, concerning
idols comes with the promise of God‘s love). Paul meant that this is “first”
in the sense of being “a primary commandment,” that is, of primary importance
for children and it also has a promise. The promise for those who obey their
parents is that they enjoy a prosperous and long life on the
earth. This states a general principle that obedience fosters
self-discipline, which in turn brings stability and longevity in one’s life.
(Stated conversely, it is improbable that an undisciplined person will live a
long life. An Israelite who persistently disobeyed his parents was not
privileged to enjoy a long, stable life in the land of Israel. A clear example
of this was Eli’s sons.) Though that promise was given to Israel in the Old
Testament, the principle still holds true today. When children learn from their parents they
become wise about life and make good decisions.
Fathers are addressed because they represent
the governmental head of the family on whom rests the responsibility of child
discipline. Parents are not to exasperate (“provoke to anger”)
their children by unreasonable demands, petty rules, or favoritism. Such
actions cause children to become discouraged. Instead, parents are to bring
them up, that is, rear or nourish (“provide for physical and spiritual
needs”) them in the training (“child discipline,” including directing
and correcting; “training” in righteousness and God’s “discipline” of
believers) and instruction of the Lord. Children are to obey “in
the Lord” and parents are to train and instruct “in the Lord.” He is to be the
center of their relationships and of their teaching and learning.[11]
There is a difference between
obeying and honoring. To obey means to
do as one is told; to honor means to respect and love. Children are not commanded to disobey God in
obeying their parents. Adult children
are not asked to be subservient to domineering parents. Christians parents should never ask children
to disobey God, in obeying them.
Children are to obey while under their parents’ care, but the
responsibility to honor parents is for life.
Some societies honor their
elders. They respect their wisdom, defer
to their authority, and pay attention to their comfort and happiness. This is how Christians should act. Where elders are respected, long life is a
blessing, not a burden to them.
6. Obedient Child Recovers Better
Years ago a famous children’s specialist said
to me: “When it comes to a serious illness, the child who has been taught to
obey stands four times the chance of recovery that the spoiled and
undisciplined child does.” Those words made a lasting impression upon me. Up to
that time I had been taught that one of the Ten Commandments was for children
to obey their parents. Never had it entered my mind that a question of
obedience might mean the saving or losing of a child’s life.
—J. Adam Clark[12]
7. Recipe For Child Raising
1 cup of Proverbs 22:6, Train
a child in the way he should go, and
when he is old he will not turn from it.
[13]
2 Tablespoons
of Proverbs 19:13, A foolish son is his
father’s ruin, and
a quarrelsome wife is like a constant dripping.[14]
1 Dash of Proverbs 23:13, Do not withhold discipline from a
child; if
you punish him with the rod, he will not die.[15]
1 Teaspoon of Proverbs 3:5, Trust in the Lord with all your heart and
lean not on your own understanding;[16]
1/2 cup of Titus 2:3
through 7, At one time we too were foolish, disobedient, deceived and
enslaved by all kinds of passions and pleasures. We lived in malice and envy,
being hated and hating one another. 4 But when the kindness and love of
God our Savior appeared, 5 he
saved us, not because of righteous things we had done, but because of his
mercy. He saved us through the washing of rebirth and renewal by the Holy
Spirit, 6 whom he poured
out on us generously through Jesus Christ our Savior, 7 so that, having been justified by
his grace, we might become heirs having the hope of eternal life. [17]
Mix all the ingredients, add a pound of
persistence, one cup of love, and whip until right consistency. This recipe is
recommended by the Creator of Mankind.
Please add a pinch of Ephesians
6:4, Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up
in the training and instruction of the Lord. [18]
7. What Does Jesus Say? Matthew 10:37, Anyone
who loves his father or mother more than me is not worthy of me; anyone who
loves his son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me; [20]
Christ calls us to a higher
mission than to find comfort and tranquility in this life. Love of family is a law of God, but even this
love can be self-serving and used as an excuse not to serve God or do his work.
Matthew 15:4-6, Jesus
replied, “And why do you break the command of God for
the sake of your tradition? 4
For God said, ‘Honor your father and mother’ and ‘Anyone who
curses his father or mother must be put to death.’ 5 But you say
that if a man says to his father or mother, ‘Whatever help you might otherwise
have received from me is a gift devoted to God,’ 6 he is not to
‘honor his father’ with it. Thus you nullify the word of God for the sake of
your tradition.[21]
While God is to be first in
our life, when we honor our parents and take care of their needs we show God
our love for him. Jesus here was
referring to the Pharisees and teachers who would give money to the Temple, but
did neglected their parents. Honoring
your parents and your family is a way to serve God, as long as God is still
your first love.
[3] Walvoord, J. F., Zuck, R. B., & Dallas Theological Seminary. 1983-c1985.
The Bible knowledge commentary : An exposition of the scriptures. Victor Books:
Wheaton, IL
[6] Walvoord, J. F., Zuck, R. B., & Dallas Theological Seminary.
1983-c1985. The Bible knowledge commentary : An exposition of the scriptures.
Victor Books: Wheaton, IL
[11] Walvoord, J. F., Zuck, R. B., & Dallas Theological Seminary.
1983-c1985. The Bible knowledge commentary : An exposition of the scriptures.
Victor Books: Wheaton, IL
[12] Tan, P. L. 1996, c1979. Encyclopedia of 7700 illustrations : [a treasury of illustrations, anecdotes,
facts and quotations for pastors, teachers and Christian workers]. Bible
Communications: Garland TX
[19] Tan, P. L. 1996, c1979. Encyclopedia of 7700 illustrations : [a treasury of illustrations, anecdotes,
facts and quotations for pastors, teachers and Christian workers]. Bible
Communications: Garland TX
